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Experimental Prototype Comedy of Tomorrow

February 4th, 2010

Time for another section of Cap’n Wacky World’s Five Point Park to debut! This week, it’s Education Point the land where learning and fun combine to a watered down product that is neither particularly educational or fun, but does save our parent company a lot of money!

The debut of Lighthouse Court is being pushed back two weeks to make sure its as much fun as YOU deserve it to be. Since it’s the smallest land in Five Point Park, we’ll also bring you some normally top-secret behind-the-scenes info about working at Cap’n Wacky World to make up for the delay!

Why not next week? Next week we’ll be bringing a new addition to our ever-popular Valentine’s Day section, Cap’n Wacky’s Boatload of Love! It’s a good time to be alive isn’t it?

I hope you’re sitting in a chair with some kind of restraining harnass

January 28th, 2010

This week, we unveil another section of Cap’n Wacky World’s Five Point Park. This week, it’s a portion of the park dedicated to making your pulse speed up to dangerous levels: Thrill Point! In Thrill Point, you’ll find Extreme Thrills, as evidenced by about 1/2 of the attractions starting with the world “extreme.”

Next week: Education Point and Lighthouse Court!

Wackier and more worldly by the week!

January 21st, 2010

We continue to unveil our new Cap’n Wacky World section this week, opening up another area of the park. Bring the little ones, folks, as we open up Kiddie Point! Four attractions! Two dining locations! Two special services! Why it’s delightful enough on its own, and there’s still more to come!

Come back next week for extreme action in Thrill Point!

The crappiest wackiest place on Earth!

January 14th, 2010

It’s finally here! The official web page of Cap’n Wacky World, Amalgamated Humor’s world-famous vacation destination. Ready to visit the theme park that’s dreamier than Disneyland, more thrilling than Cedar Point, wetter than Sea World, knottier than Knott’s Berry Farm, and less bankrupt than Six Flags? Now you can online!

There’s a lot to see at Cap’n World, especially at our flagship park, Five Point Park, so we’ll be rolling out the site over the next month so as not to overwhelm you with joy. Go there now and check out the descriptions of attractions, shows, and dining locations in the Sea Point and Giftshop Point sections of the park.

In the coming weeks, we’ll reveal the rest of the park with Kiddie Point opening on January 22, Thrill Point on January 29, and Education Point and Lighthouse Court both opening on February 5th.

This has all been long in coming, and we’re happy to finally share it with you. Tell your friends, and start planning your vacation to Cap’n Wacky World today!

2009: we wrote funny things

December 31st, 2009

Our 10th Anniversary year has come to a close. The anniversary art is already down (check out our new look!), but let’s take a glance back at some of our favorite comedy updates from the 2009:

We answer your Frequently Asked Questions about Cap’n Wacky’s parent company Amalgamated Humor.

Our Disgruntled Employee of the Month feature sporadically reappeared, including this efficient interview with efficiency expert Pernilla Tilson.

Newspapers were dying like crazy in 2009 until we posted this list of ideas for saving newspapers which i think actually saved them all, right? Crisis averted.

After that, we helped save the Earth with our new Earth Day section, Cap’n Wacky’s Boatload of Ecological Awareness, including the lowdown on the Sharp Car, “Survival of the Fittest” by Erin Murray, and more! Probably this saved the Earth too. It’s still here, isn’t it?

Set phasers to “awkward” on The Parade of Unfortunate Star Trek Costumes.

We debuted an actual real T-shirt with which you can let everyone know that Twitter is For the Birds.

Your favorite hateful alien, Zonar, debuted his new blog where he updates us on what movies he doesn’t want to see, makes fun of what we find most popular on Yahoo, and weighs in on any number of other opinions. With hate in his heart. If they have a heart.

When People Magazine debuted its latest Sexiest Man Alive issue, we offered other options of things they could choose the sexiest of.

Finally, on The Wacky Channel, we presented Luke Skywalker visits the North Pole, which you probably remember because it was only about two weeks ago.

Thanks for reading again in 2009. Remember how we kept promising another new substantial section in the latter half of the year? Well, life got a little nutty for the Cap’n Wacky staff for a while (you may have heard something about the global economic meltdown), so it never actually happened. But we’re back to work on it now, it’s very nearly done, and will be debuting before too long in 2010. No, really! Get ready to plan your vacation to it.

Wacky New Year everyone, see you in 2010.

Christmas in the Stars

December 17th, 2009

New on The Wacky Channel: Luke Skywalker visits the North Pole. The hero of the Star Wars trilogy (what? I’m pretending there are still only three) and his faithful Tauntaun, Gingerbread, go searching for Santa… with deadly results!

And for more Christmas cheer, don’t miss Cap’n Wacky’s Boatload of Yule, featuring Winthrop’s Christmas, Santa Doom, and of course the Gallery of Unfortunate Christmas Cards.

The Princess & The Opinionated Green-Skinned Alien

December 10th, 2009

Zonar explains why he has no intention of seeing The Princess & The Frog, Avatar, nor Have You Heard About the Morgans.

Office Police Cop vs. Werewolves in Telepathic Cars

December 3rd, 2009

This week, Zonar has reviewed movies he has no intention of seeing, busted the telepathic car hoax wide open, and reported to the Superion High Command on Earth’s Thanksgiving. All in his Superior Being Blog.

What? No Sexiest Cap’n Alive?

November 19th, 2009

This week People Magazine named Captain Jack Scissorhands the Sexiest Man Alive. Even more exciting, we’ve discovered the upcoming issues in which People declares several sexiest OTHER things! Check out the sexxy covers in Flotsam & Jetsam.

While we were digging around amongst the Flotsam, we uncovered this almost-forgotten gem by Jon Morris in which he decides Why I Would Not Enjoy Livig on Big Rock Candy Mountain”. Nearly lost to the ages, now preserved on our main Flotsam & Jestam page along with the rest of the enjoyable miscellany.

Also: cryin’

November 12th, 2009

This week in lists: the still somewhat-relevant Steven Tyler’s Post-Aerosmith Plans

Meanwhile, Zonar has updated his new blog several times in the last week, writing about portable pee cans, pugs, orange Crocs at the White House, and why he won’t be seeing 2012.