February's Disgruntled Employees of the Month: Rocko and Tiny
GARY NEWBRUNSWICK: Congratulations, boys!
ROCKO: Thanks, Mr. N.
TINY: Yeah.
GN: You guys have the honor of being the first to share the title.
R: Thanks, Mr. N.
T: Yeah.
GN: I decided to do that because you guys work together so well as a team.
R: Thanks, Mr. N.
GN: And also I have no idea which of you is which.
T: Yeah.
GN: OK. So what tell us what you do here.
R: We protect Mr. Brockie.
GN: Right, you two are the personal bodyguards of Amalgamated Humor Co-President Mr. Brockie.
R: Yeah.
GN: And this is just a logical precaution since he's the head of an enormous multi-national novelty and humor corporation, right?
R: Yeah, and peoples try to get him.
GN: Yeah?
R: Yeah, peoples always want to try to get him.
T: And hurt him.
R: Yeah, get him and hurt him.
GN: Why is that, do you think?
T: Well, Mr. Brockie, he says that they are jealous of his smarts and good looks.
R: And maybe also on accounts of he can be annoying.
GN: How did you get this job?
R: Well, one times me and Tiny was outside of a bar hitting each other in the face with two by fours when alls of a suddens Mr. Brockie gets thrown out the front door and into these garbage cans in the alley.
T: Yeah. That's true.
R: And then he goes back in and they toss him out again. And this happens about five or three times and then Tiny and I stop hitting each other in the face with two by fours.
T: Because we are distracted.
R: Right because we are distracted by this guy who keeps flying out into the garbage cans.
T: Who is Mr. Brockie.
R: Right, but we don't know him yet. But then he says who he is and then we know him.
T: Yeah, and then we know who he is and he gives us a wad of money and asks us to go beat up the bar.
R: Which we does.
GN: How did you know who in the bar to beat up?
T: We didn't.
R: Sos we beat up everybody.
T: huh huh.
R: So Mr. Brockie liked it so much, the job what we did of beating up the bar, that he offered us full time jobs as his bodyguards.
T: Yeah, just like we were high school graduates or somethin'.
GN: And you've been with him ever since?
R: Yeah, having a real full-time job is good.
T: It's how come I have all my chompers now.
R: He means he got all his teeth put back in.
T: Yeah, but I like to call 'em chompers.
R: It's funnier.
T: Sometimes I have a dream about when I was a little boy and I wanted a pony. I axed my dad if I could have a pony and he punched me in the face and told me not to be a sissy.
R: Ha ha.
T: Yeah. Sometimes I dream about that and cry in the dream. And then when I wake up I'm still crying. It's weird.
GN: Uh...
R: Ha ha. Crying.
GN: Um... anyway. Ever since beating up the bar, you just protect Mr. Brockie, right?
R: Right.
T: Yes, and not any other things.
R: Right, all we does is protect him.
T: And if we was ever asked to do anything to anyone else we would say no.
R: Yeah, either with our fists or with tools.
T: Yeah, either way, we would say no to that.
R: Right. Good job, Tiny.
T: Yeah, I remembered.
GN: So, which one of you guys do you think is stronger?
R: Probably Tiny.
T: No, I think Rocko.
R: No. You are, Tiny.
T: No. Do not disagree with me or I will punch you in the face!
R: No! Because you are stronger!
GN: Whoa whoa, guys. It's OK. Never mind. Forget I asked.
R: Mr. N can decide who is strongest of all!
T: Yes!
GN: What? How?
R: We can both punch Mr. N in the face and he can tell us which hurted more.
GN: Wait, no! Forget it, guys! Never mind! I don't care!
R: Tiny, you go first.
GN: No! NO!!!
T: OK, thanks. OK, here we go!
GN: No!
R: OK, Mr. N. Get back up and I will take my turn!
GN:
R: Mr. N?
GN:
T: Mr. N you have to get back up so Rocko can take his turn.
R: I think you broke him.
MR. BROCKIE (enters): OK, girls, tea time is over. Back to work!
Rocko and Tiny
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