Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

NOTE: As a special treat, Gary has decided to allow little Billy, age 5, to conduct this month's interview.

April's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Paul Foley

Billy: So, do you, uh, do you like dinosaurs?

Paul Foley: What?

Dinosaurs.

B: Dinosaurs are- This one time, my mommy took me to this museum and they had these big dinosaurs there. Some didn't have any outside.

PF: Right. So, um, listen, is Mr. Newbrunswick going to be back soon? I have to get back to human resources...

B: Uncle Gary is gone.

PF: Yes, I can see that, I was just wondering if you knew-

B: This one time, I have these dinosaurs at home and this one time I had them fight my GI Joe guys. They were "RARRRRRRRR!" and they ate my GI Joes.

PF: I should probably go. Are your mother or father around?

B: My mommy works here. I don't have a daddy. He left.

PF: Oh, god, I'm sorry, I didn't know. I guess I'll wait. So, hm. Is that a dinosaur there, next to you?

B: Yeah. This is Mike. He's a brontosaurourous. The biggest dinosaur was the brotasaururourous

PF: Well, no, actually, that's not exactly right. I think the largest is the brachiosaurus.

B: No, I have a book my mommy reads to me every night. She says the brontosoarorous is the biggest.

PF: I guess the book is maybe out of date.

B: What is out of date mean?

PF: It means, um, it's old. It's wrong.

B: My mommy was wrong?

PF: What? No, no - the book your mother was reading was wrong. It didn't have the facts.

B: Facts are true!

PF: Yes, that's right.

B: My mommy isn't true? My mommy's a liar?

PF: No, I didn't say that, you're-

B: You said my mommy lied to me! (begins to cry)

PF: No! I didn't- shhh... calm down.

B: My mommy is a liar!!

PF: No, god, please- okay, okay, the brontosaurus is the biggest. The book was right, your mother was right, okay? Just please calm down.

B: -sniff- My mommy's not a liar?

PF: No, no she's not. She knows everything, okay?

B: -sniff- Okay.

PF: Listen, do you know where Mr. Newbrunswck is?

B: Uncle Gary is having lunch with mommy. They have lunch a lot. Sometimes, I have to go to sleep at night when they have lunch.

PF: You poor, poor little boy.

B: I like dinosaurs. They go rarrr!


Click Here for the Disgruntled Employee of the Month Archives