April's Disgruntled Employees of the Month: Craz Branson

Gary Newbrunswick: Congratulations, Craz.

Craz Branson: Thanks, man.

Craz Branson at work.

GN: Tell us what you do here at Amalgamated Humor.

CB: I'm the lead guitarist.

GN: The what now?

CB: Dude, I'm on lead guitar.

GN: But that's your hobby, right?

CB: Rock and roll is my everything, man.

GN: Yeah, but what is your job here at the office?

CB: I told you! Rockin' out!

GN: But- I... What is your official job title?

CB: Lead f****ing guitar!

GN: Why in the world would a novelty manufacturing and humor producing corporation have a lead guitar?

CB: What?

GN: Why would a corporation hire a lead guitarist?

CB: This isn't a band?

GN: No, this isn't a band! Look around, this is a business office! Don't you see all the cubicles and copy machines and miserable people in business dress.

CB: You know, I did kind of wonder about that.

GN: I would hope so.

CB: Plus we never had rehearsal.

GN: No.

CB: and I never met the drummer.

GN: How long have you been here?

CB: Uh... I got hired in... let's see... four years.

GN: Why? Who hired you?

CB: Mr. Brockie. He said he thought it would be cool to have a lead guitar to fill in the gaps.

GN: To fill in the gaps.

CB: Yeah, so whenever I hear and awkward pause I just let loose with an awesome solo.

GN: And you've been doing this for four years?

CB: and a couple months.

GN: Why have I never seen you before?

CB: Well, I've sorta tried to steer clear of you, dude. Everyone says your kind of a drag.

GN: What?

CB: Hey, that's not me, man. That's just what I hear.

GN: Where?

CB: Just around.

GN: Wow.

CB: Yeah.

GN: man...

CB: yup.

GN: ...

CB: OK, I think we need a solo!

(Pulls out guitar and plays an awesome solo.)

GN: Wow, that rocked.

CB: Thanks, man.

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