Leslie Markin Amalgamated Humor Archives

GARY NEWBRUNSWICK: Congratulations, Leslie.

LESLIE MARKIN: Thank you!

GN: So your official title is Youth Trend Tracker.

LM: Yeah!

GN: What does that entail?

LM: Well, like, I mostly just try to stay on top of that the kids are into these days and report my findings to the company so they can like, make stuff they think young people will buy.

GN: Have you... how should I put this? How long have you been doing this job?

LM: Are you trying to find a nice way to ask why a 64 year old woman is in charge of keeping track of what 14 year-olds like.

GN: Uh... yes.

LM: Yeah, I got hired back in 1963, but I'm still totally good at what I do.

GN: OK. Hey, I wasn't suggesting otherwise.

LM: Whatevs.

GN: So how do you keep up with what's happening with youth culture?

LM: Well, I look around on Facebook, watch a lot of the Disney Channel, read Tiger Beat.

GN: So mostly, you just screw around.

LM: Shut UP! It's way tough work.

GN: So were you responsible for that market testing last November when they looked into redesigning Cap'n Wacky to make him look more like one of the vampires from Twilight?

LM: No!

GN: And when, last summer, they made that god-awful TV movie High Seas Musical?

LM: Look, I just report on the trends, man. I don't tell them what do with them.

GN: Don't you ever get sick of the tween culture? Wouldn't you feel more comfortable keeping track of, say, senior culture?

LM: No way! Besides, we already have somebody for that. Hey, Katie! Come over into my cubicle.

KATIE SINK: What?

LM: This is Katie Sink. SheÕs our Senior Trends Tracker.

GN: But she's, like, 19! Katie, how are you qualified to track senior citizens?

KS: You know who's a total dreamsicle? Mickey Rooney.

LM: Ew!

KS: Shut up! He's way hot.

LM: He's no Zac Efron.

KS: Ugh. His skin is too tight.

GN: OK, I'm out of here.