Amalgamated Humor's Disgruntled Employee of the Month

Each month, Amalgamated Humor's Public Relations specialist, Gary Newbrunswick, puts the spotlight on a valued member of the Amalgamated Humor corporate family. In addition to an extra vacation day and photo with a receptionist from the executive office, they also get a featured interview.

This month's Disgruntled Employee of the Month: Lisa Darby

Gary Newbrunswick: So, Lisa, you're the "Events Coordinator." What sort of events? Company picnics, press conferences?

Lisa Darby: Oh, no. I cooordinate events here in the cafetorium.

Lisa Darby

GN: We don't usually have big events here, though. Company-wide meetings, sometimes, but that's it.

LD: Well, after hours and on weekends, this place is hopping. You see, a few years ago, Mr. White and Mr. Brockie got the idea to make extra money by renting this place out when the company's not using it.

GN: Really? And people do that? This dump?

LD: Oh, it's an excellent-sized meeting space, Gary and our kitchen is able to accomodate the needs of just about any sort of occasion that folks have booked.

GN: Like what?

LD: Well, in terms of ongoing clients, the local Catholic church, Lutheran church and the synagogue up the road all hold bingo here on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, respectively. Three different cub scout groups use it on Wednesday nights.

GN: I had no idea...

LD: Let's see, we host retirement parties, mitzvahs, both bar and bat, wedding receptions-

GN: Wait- wedding receptions?

LD: Yes.

GN: Here, in this cafeteria?

LD: Come here... see this, under this tile? The largest parquet dance floor in the tri-county area. People pay top dollar for that kind of luxury. We just had a wedding in here last week, where Loverboy played.

GN: Loverboy? The Loverboy? "Workin' for the weekend" Loverboy?

LD: Yup, on a portable riser right where you're standing.

GN: Wow. The couple must have been big fans.

LD: No, they were the cheapest. Plus, they play a lot of covers.

[Pause]

GN and LD: Ha-Haaaaaaa! Haaaaaa!!!

GN: Just kidding, Loverboy, we still "love" your work!

LD: Keep workin' for the weekend, boys! America needs you now, more than ever!

["Workin' For the Weekend" plays in the background as the credits roll]


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