1. Shirley Hemphill getting while the getting is good.

2. Domain name "www.herecomestheendoftheworld.com" sells on eBay for $666 million.

3. Locusts sure seem to be all excited about something.

4. Pope building something in back yard, when asked what, responded quickly, "not an ark!"

5. Gary Coleman auctions off his worldly possessions. Sure looks like he knows something.

6. Ty announces final 4 beanie babies will be "Pesty the Horse," "Hungry the Horse," "Warren the Horse," and "Death."

7. Psychic hotlines suddenly start demanding full payment up front.

8. www.capnwacky.com gets tens of thousands of page views in December.

9. Shirley Hemphill's cryptic last words: "I think I'll go now and beat the rush."

10. George Harrison stabbed. Suspect mumbles something about "Third Beatle, last scion."

11. I no longer crave the taste of Doritos.

12. Spinach dip stain in the shape of Shelley Winters found in Charlotte, MI. It tells faithful of her plan to regain conrol of earth's waterways by May 2002.

13. Scott Baio has a film coming out next year.