ANNC: ...Thank you Lester Kline and the Melodymakers. Now, let's drop in on bustling Camp Bixton, and visit America's two favorite GI cut-ups- Harry and Stubby, the Two Hungry Guys.

(scratching sound)

STUBBY: Boy, I sure hate peeling these potatoes on KP duty, in the Army, here.

HARRY: Quiet, will ya? I'm trying to do some thinkin'.

STUBBY: Hey, how come you ain't peeling any of these potatoes?

HARRY: Because I wasn't the one who donated the tires from the Colonel's car to the rubber drive!

STUBBY: No, but ya gave his wife's polio braces to the metal drive!

HARRY: She's faking, I tell ya! Now pipe down and let me cogitate.

STUBBY: What are you cogic- cotiga- What are you thinking about, Harry?

HARRY: If you must know, I'm trying to think of a way for the folks back home to help our boys in the service in this time of sacrifice and national war!

STUBBY: I know! Invent a potato peeling machine!

(slapping noise)

HARRY: Shut up, you chowderhead! No, we need real ideas to help our boys protect those Polacks against those Ratzi Krauts!

STUBBY: And don't forget the Japs!

HARRY: Exactly. Now what can they do?

STUBBY: I know! Buy war bonds!

HARRY: Eh, that's for simps!

STUBBY: I don't like this thinkin' Harry! It makes my head hurt! -----

(finger snap)

HARRY: That's it, Stubby! You're a genius!

STUBBY: I am?

HARRY: No. But I know how folks back home can do their share!

STUBBY: How's that?

HARRY: By purchasing quality American products from quality patriotic American companies-

STUBBY: Like Amalgamated Humor?

HARRY: Yeah, now you've got it! That slap to the head must have jarred something loose!

STUBBY: Gee, thanks, Harry!

ANNC: That's right, you two! One of the best ways for all good Americans to show their support to our boys over there is to buy Amalgamated Humor products over here! Our entire line of products are made right here in the good old U.S. of A! Remember - there's no ration on fun with Amalgamated humor!

STUBBY: Yeah, that's the thing! I'm gonna write my Ma back home and tell her to send me some of that pepper gum or the patented Zapper 200 Hand Buzzer!

HARRY: Or, the new miracle non-rubber T-10 Whoopee-Matic-Cushion!

STUBBY: So, you gonna help me with these potatoes now that you're done thinkin', Harry?

HARRY: What, are you kidding? You're doing such a good job, I'd only get in the way.

STUBBY: Really? You think so, Harry? Chee, that's swell of ya!