I was in the nursery recently, having lined up my many toys and playthings,
and was just beginning to judge which of them I hated the most when my
ponderings were suddenly and rudely interrupted by the intrusion of my
horrible nanny.
She entered without knocking, a peculiar expression on her common and
unattractive face. Her lips quivered in motion reminiscent of the manner in
which my whole body vibrates when I wake with a case of the Night Shivers.
Her eyes were rimmed with tears, and I dared fantasize for the briefest of
delicious moments that she had been sacked and was only coming to the
nursery to bid me a final farewell. No such luck for your dear Winthrop,
though, gentle readers.
"Oh, my poor little China doll," she said, addressing me with the hated
endearment. "Your grandfather has passed."
"You horrid old cow!" I exclaimed, throwing a wooden block as close to her
as I could manage. "You interrupted my merrymaking to tell me that?"
"I... I..." Nanny stammered, infuriatingly.
"You act as though this were some sort of uncommon or monumental
occurrence!" I shouted, stamping my foot for emphasis. "The old codger
passes constantly! I counted seven times when last we dined with him alone
and those were only the audible ones!"
"Oh, Winthrop..." Nanny said, nonsensically as the first tear escaped her
left eye.
"Did you think I wanted to come investigate?" I demanded. "Do you believe I
fancy the odor of rotting chicken's eggs?"
"You poor dear," Nanny said, the tears now rolling down both of her
weathered Irish cheeks. "I mean to say, your grandfather has died."
It still took me a moment to process the news. At first I thought she meant
that the violence of his latest passing had been the cause of his expiring.
Then I realized that she had intended the initial phrase as a euphemism to
protect my precious innocent nature.
"I see," I said, the true meaning of her message clear to me now. "Shall I
be permitted to see it?"
* * *
Grandfather.
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Indeed, I was permitted to see the corpse that had been my grandfather! A
real dead body! True, I had seen one before, but that was just an Irish
vagrant lying in a filthy alley that I spotted form our carriage window on a
sojourn into the city to the opera. This time it was right up close. How
exhilarating!
I did not realize that one received presents when their relatives died, but
I was given a brand-new black velvet suit to wear for the occasion. I must
admit, I would cut quite the handsome figure at the post-death remembrance
festivities.
Father is currently visiting the dark continent, hunting rhinoceros, and
mother was so overcome with grief that she locked herself in her room (I
believe the grandfather in question was her father, and not father's father)
and refused to come out during the visitation, so I alone (with nanny to
mind me) was sent as the representative of the immediate family.
At the funeralarium, I was placed for a time in a room with a few of my
little cousins, though I have never known them very well as mother's spirits
are rarely high enough to entertain nor travel. My cousin Percival, one
year my junior, was overcome with grief and wailing something fierce and sat
balled in a corner. He was a rather sorry spectacle of a little gentleman
and I determined to tell him so, especially as his cries were paining my
thin eardrum disorder.
"Do shut up, Percival," I shouted over his cries. "We're all sorry to be
down one grandfather, but you don't hear the rest of us carrying-on like
bedwetting babies!"
"I'm sorry, Winthrop," he said between sobs, looking up at me with bloodshot
eyes. "I was just recalling a visit to grandfather's last spring, and how
we'd spent the day talking over my plans for a grand dolls house I should
like to make. How it would be five feet tall with a great many rooms, and
how there would be secret passages between quarters and hiding places behind
miniature bookshelves and suchlike. And do you know what he did?"
"Boxed your ears for being a crying ninny?" I ventured.
"He had the thing built for me. He remembered my every fancy and had it put
in, just so and even better. He kept it in the playroom that I might enjoy
it whenever I came for a visit. He was such a kind soul! Grandfather!"
And then Percival was in his fits again and there was no consoling him.
Finally, I was taken to the room where Grandfather's remains were being
displayed. When my turn came to approach the coffin, I took a good long
look at what had been Grandfather. Still and silent, it was easier to see
each of the individual hairs of his bristly mustache than when he had lived.
I thought back to the week last year when Nanny went to tend to her sickly
brother and I was sent to stay with Grandfather for the week. He had let me
indulge in various behaviors forbidden at home. He let me eat a full plate
of strawberry tarts and did not scold me when I vomited them back up on my
bed sheets. He had been a kind man.
I had heard others telling stories of how agreeable grandfather's nature,
and decided to share my own. My cousins were still off playing together
elsewhere. I was alone in a room full of adults as I told the story of my
last visit to grandfather, how I always loved the sweet lingering smell of
pipe tobacco on his clothes, his gentle smiling eyes, and how we'd played
together one long afternoon with the huge elaborate dolls house he had
built, and how he promised me that I should have it one day when he passed.
Of course they were moved, what cold heart wouldn't have been?
I have the dolls house now, and why shouldn't I? He was my grandfather
too, after all. It is every bit as grand as Percival described, and though
I have already owned it for three days, I am not yet weary of the sight of
it.
Nothing lasts forever and you must enjoy the things you have while they're
still with you, that is what I have learned from the precious and brief time
I have shared with the dolls house. I know the time will come when
Percival speaks again of his grand gift from Grandfather, and likely the
truth will out about its origins and his claims on it.
That's why I'll have to smash it into tiny, tiny pieces in the morning.
Farewell, sweet dolls house. I shall miss you.
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