Hey there, folks! Hairy here! Guess whos birthday is coming up? Yup! Mine!

Here at dork central, we're going to have a party with the whole gang- Papa Dork's going to lug out the old 16mm projector and rare films- a blooper reel from 'Mary Poppins,' the director's cut of 'Heaven's Gate,' trailers from Burt Reynolds movies, a bootleg reel of 'Star Wars' footage without the effects added and a ton of other goodies. Plus cake- loooooots of cake!

I know you all wish you could come, but you can do the next best thing- send me presents! If you can't be here, then show your appreciation for your favorite site by sending in a few tokens of love. As Jar Jar says- Meesa want pwesents bigga!!!!!

Here's a list of a few things I'm looking for-

1. A 3rd DVD player. Incase I'm taping from the other two.
2. Leather JLA jacket (Size XXL)
3. The complete 'Star Trek' movie series on DVD (Even 'The Undiscovered Country')
4. The test screening print for the new 'Prez' film in development at Warner's. (One of the most underrated comics in DC's mighty pantheon, if you ask me.)
5. Fudge
6. A new sleeping bag. (Mine was ruined waiting outside for the 'Gladiator' premiere)
7. An evil robot with which to destroy my enemies.
8. The Empire Strikes Back cloud car pilot action figure factory-sealed on the 6" x 9" Kenner card (48 back)
9. Dr. Who script signed by Ian Marter (It's available on eGad- Hint!Hint!)
10. The csaba melon that Hitchcock approved for the stabbing noise in 'Psycho' (I heard a stage hand saved it and kept it hermetically sealed in a bag and it is somewhere in a safe deposit box in Missouri. I MUST HAVE IT!!!)
11. Catherane Zeta-Jones. Naked. Chocolate. Enough said.
12. Bootleg of 'Transformers: The Movie,' with Woody Allen's voice dubbed in over Scatman Cruthers'
13. The new 'Kentucky Fried Movie' SE DVD
14. Jimmy Durante's ashes