By DUNCAN PFLASTER, ADAM WATSON, BRODIE H. BROCKIE, and BEN FLASTER
Desecrating Gene Roddenberry's grave.
Stalking some actor who spent one uncomfortable afternoon wearing a rubber lizard mask as Bossk for a five second appearance in The Empire Strikes Back because they're sure, somehow, only Bossk can ever really love them.
Encasing their copies of "Episodes 1-3" in carbonite.
Herding their nerfs.
Using coconut, peanut butter, and chocolate chips to make "Wookie Cookies" for the fan club.
Getting the hell kicked out of them after visiting the local biker bar in hopes that it "might be kind of like the cantina!"
Buying Chinese cooking supplies online, just so they can make "E-wok" jokes.
30th is traditionally the Pearl anniversary, so they're splurging the extra money to give a pearl necklace to the hooker dressed like Princess Leia.
Updating their comedy websites with more Star Wars jokes.
Inviting all of their friends over for a big party (and by "friends" we mean "action figures" and by "party" we mean "meticulous hours spent re-posing").
Recruiting the local Civil war society to assist in a recreation of the battle on Naboo against the Droid army.
Standing in line all night for something. Anything. It doesn't matter.
Watching the trilogy at home. Alone. Again.