By LEONARD PIERCE, DUNCAN PFLASTER, BRODIE H. BROCKIE, BEN FLASTER and DAVID ANDREWS

Having Paris in jail violated too many health codes.

Broke out of her cell by picking lock with a sharpened Nicole Richie.

Penitentiary toilets not able to handle rigorous demands of hardcore bulimics.

Could you live with her for more than a couple of days? I didn’t think so.

Warden was under the impression she had a fever when he heard her constantly repeating "that's hot."

Helped authorities break up a major coke ring simply by handing over her address book.

Warden found accommodations at her family hotel to be worse than prison.

Space between iron bars not thin enough to keep her in anyway.

Prison staff wanted to get a jump on redecorating for Lindsey Lohan.

Ankle Bracelet lobby paid for endorsement.

In exchange for 40 days ‘time-served’ credit, will be required to watch House of Wax.

Won Heisman Trophy in 1968. Oops, wrong list.

Really, really, really, really, really good behavior, if you know what I mean.

Only took two days to get all the material they needed for a new reality show.

Prisoners created a hostage situation just to negotiate her release.

Concern that the delousing procedure would not leave Anything.

Paris was tired of playing grown-up.

Temporarily misplaced the contingency copy of the video she made with Judge Michael T. Sauer in 2005.

Prison Lesbians threw her back.

Warden spooked by rumors Hilton's cohorts in the Legion of Doom were planning to bust her loose.

She's rich.