BY JUSTIN VIDOVIC
DISH: "Liberals Can be Patriots Too" Patriotic Dish
RESPONSE: "You're supposed to put food on it. Not just bring a dish. And
who is that on the dish anyway? Who? What the hell is patriotic about
Jimmy Carter? No. Try again. Bring a food next time."
DISH: Liberals Can Be Patriots, Too" Chocolate Cake You'll Love So Much
You'll Want to Marry It!
RESPONSE: "That's sick. You can't even do that. It's in the bible. Why
don't you and your cake abomination just go to the Canada Day party across
the river."
DISH: Baseballs and Apple Pie
RESPONSE: "Who the hell put these damn baseballs in my apple pie!?!?!?"
DISH: "Liberals Can Be Patriots Too" Wilty Organic Spinach
RESPONSE: "Huh. What the hell is patriotic about that? It's just spinach.
And it's three days old. You liberals are morons."
DISH: "Liberals Can Be Patriots, Too" Guppies
RESPONSE: "Jesus CHRIST! Guppies aren't even FOOD. And these aren't even
red white and BLUE guppies. Just leave! LEAVE! You can't be at the picnic
anymore."
DISH: We Are People of Faith, Too
RESPONSE: "The invitations said BRING A PATRIOTIC FOOD! You can't just
walk into the picnic and say "We are people of faith, too." Why do you
Dems have to politicize everything?"
DISH: Hilary Clinton's We Are People of Faith, Too Cupcakes
RESPONSE: "And you prove it by eating them, eh?"
DISH: Olive Oil for Blood
RESPONSE: "I don't get it. Just eat butter like the rest of us."
DISH: Patriotic Cilantro
RESPONSE: "(taste taste) (pause) (withering look)"
DISH: We Also Want to Kill the Terrorists Vanilla Pudding
RESPONSE: "(Sneak's up to the sign over the Vanilla Pudding
booth with a sharpie and adds an apostrophe to Terrorists)"