World's biggest disappointment.

Most amount of Guiness vommitted in a single evening.

Most papercuts on tongue.

Longest crying jag.

Most motor oil in blood stream.

Most bran flakes up nose.

Weirdest intestine.

Most prescriptions.

Dances most like a librarian.

Most tarantulas in pants.

Sitting next to drunkest driver.

Glibbest.

Least special and/or record-worthy.

Most like a tomato.

Least likely to ever have a girlfriend ever. Or even a pet. Or a well made sandwich.

Most distended hernia.

Longest time in a headlock.

Lowest blood sugar.

Most lutefisk eaten in one sitting.

Biggest tapeworm.

Most simultaneous skin irritations.

Largest single surge vomit, by weight.

Largest single surge vomit, by volume.

Longest period spent living with mother.

Most words spelled.

Most criminal negligence charges dodged.

Largest throat.

Deepest hole in backyard.

Most threatening letters sent to the Times.

Most dog poop scooped.

Most winning lotto tickets lost.

Most vertebrae fused.

Loudest birth.

Most bar fights started over the lyrics of Bob Dylan songs.

Most viewings of Ishtar.

Most failed attempts at breaking a Guinness World Record.

Strongest ties to overbearing Ethnic mother.

longest hair (singular).

Worst.