By BEN FLASTER, DUNCAN PFLASTER, BRODIE H. BROCKIE, ANNE MOLONEY, LEONARD PIERCE, CALAMITY JON MORRIS, JUSTIN VIDOVIC, MANNING KRULL, and GUTBLOOM

Lice Krispies

Count Choculax

Teeth In A Bowl

Grape Gnats

Honey Bunches of Crap

Monkey Bites

Spider Bran

Skin Flakes

Phenylmethane Bran

Corncob Crunch

Cancer-os

Fruit Poops

Chuck E. Cheese Tokens

Bowl O' Salt

Cocoa Cripples

Cuddies

Kevin Costner’s Waterworld Brand Dried Urine Frosties

Spackle-Os

Al Frankenberry

C.W. Post-Mortem’s

Mucouslix

Fruits & Seashells

Hooker Crisp

Ape Nuts

Benadryl

Grasshopper Heads

Nature Valley's Dried Worm

Synthetically Produced Rat Cartelidge

"Mostly Cremated" Johnny Carson

Organic Scabs'n Boogers

Partially-Gelatinated-Fructose-O's

Campbell's Tomato Soup Crunch

Ben Afflakes

Honey Bunches of Matzah (Kosher for Passover)

Special J

Accountant-O's

Frosted Flax

Authentic Acorns and Wood Ash

Dog Whelks

Millet & More

Pig Offal and Sheep's Blood (it's a "cereal" because we add corn meal)

Cocoa Puss

All-Brain

Shamed Wheat

Soggies

Cheeri-O Faces

Curried Wheat

Dix

Fortunate Chotchkes

Meuschlitz

LowenBran

Pabstberry Crunch

Chicken-in-a-Biscuit Flakes

CaribouBerry- BooBerry sweetened with Carob

Cap'n Crunch Oops! All Dingleberries!

Cap'n Wacky's Wackberries!

Cap'n Crunch and Tenniel

Life