By Calamity Jon Morris, Brodie H. Brockie, Gutbloom, Duncan Pflaster, and
Ben Flaster
Lieutenant Commander Sammy Hagar, died in Stardate 4213.13 for refusing to
drive Warp 55.
Spock's slacker stepbrother Ray.
Captain Kirk's personal masseuse, Ensign Rowena Linx. Not only responsible
for keeping the captain limber and relaxed so he could perform dramatic
rolls, flying kicks, and double-fist punches, her four arms also came in
very handy for quick and tight applications of the captain's girdle.
Enterprise Yearbook editor Bruce Lassilly. "Let's not just have a
five-year mission, let's have five years of memories."
Mai-shtagg, the Enterprise's laundry-master from the planet Clorack 4. His
motto: "In the darkness of space, let's keep the colors bright! Set the
washers to spin!"
Medical Ensign Ahern. Tricorder data doesn't index and archive itself.
The other green Orion slave girl. The one they brought back to the ship.
Alfred the Tribble skinner.
Second-Lieutenant Osilde, the communications specialist who listened to
Lieutenant Uhura's nightly complaints about her job and fellow officers.
Curtis Jablonski, Starfleet Haberdasher - responsible for altering
uniforms to fit Kirk's frequent weight loss/gains, as well as making sure
none of the female officers' skirts got too long.
Ensign Russel "Wingman" Smith, Esq- While on leave on the planet of
Capella IV, the ensign takes out a large, ugly Vulcan so Capt. Kirk can
score with her more attractive friend.
T'Pau Jameson, Vulcan ear fluffer.