When the family gathers around the turkey table this Thanksgiving, they'll all take turns saying what they're thankful for this year. Here's what they plan on saying.

AUNT EDITH: That Uncle Frank made it to dinner without making a total embarrassment of himself.

UNCLE ALBERT: I'm thankful for all the nice apologies I received from everyone after the unfortunate death of my lover, Admiral Halsey.

GRANDPA HANK: That the dog stopped stealing my ideas for a flying ice cream truck.

COUSIN NIKKI Age 12: That I got my first period.

COUSIN BECCA, Age 16: That I got my period.

UNCLE BOB: Aunt Steve

UNCLE JOE: As yet, no appearance on America's Most Wanted.

COUSIN OLIVER: I'm thankful no one thinks I'm a jinx anymore!

BROTHER-IN-LAW BARRY: That we'll be having Christmas dinner with my family, where we don't have forced-rituals of awkwardness.

MOTHER IN LAW EVELYN: That everyone signed their wills BEFORE eating my cranberry sauce. MWA HA HA HA HA HA!