Your Reader Postcards Host: Amalgamated Humor Mail Room Guy, Gordon "Gordy" Schwartz.

This picture was taken on Gordy's first day on the job in June, 1968. In the years since, his vim and vigor have been replaced by bitterness and bile.
Gordy was our Disgruntled Employee of the Month in May, 2000. Read his interview here.
To have him make fun of your postcard, send one to:

Reader Postcards
C/O Amalgamated Humor
P.O. Box 7033
Ann Arbor, MI 48107

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Now THIS is why they make postcards.

All right, Appleheads. You guys will stay out of the pies as long as you're cute. That's it. Keep smiling.

When you find a place this odd, even if you had never heard of postcards, you would think to yourself "God, I hope they sell little pictures of this place inside that I can mail to my friends because no one is going to believe me otherwise."

Thank goodness they've suppllied us with interior shots, because that's the only way to reliaze how freaking huge this fake apple has to be to fit that much inside. Also it gives us a glimpse into the sad lives of the employees within - forced to wear hairnets and be constantly gawked at by tourists through thick plates of glass.

You know once you've worked there for a summer you'll never want to see another goddamn apple in your entire life.

You won't be able to see it on our scan, but a close inspection of the physical postcard reveals that one of the menu items is "Big Tarts." The poor checkout girl must the same lame joke about that approximately 415 times a day.