Your Reader Postcards Host: Amalgamated Humor Mail Room Guy, Gordon "Gordy" Schwartz.

This picture was taken on Gordy's first day on the job in June, 1968. In the years since, his vim and vigor have been replaced by bitterness and bile.
Gordy was our Disgruntled Employee of the Month in May, 2000. Read his interview here.
To have him make fun of your postcard, send one to:

Reader Postcards
C/O Amalgamated Humor
P.O. Box 7033
Ann Arbor, MI 48107

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You know, I've always thought Cap'n Wacky had a lot in common with our nation's greatest presidents.

Like Washington, he has wooden teeth (though I should point out, he's entirely made of wood). Like Lincoln, he sports a beard but no mustache. Like Teddy Roosevelt, he has bad eyes. Like Jefferson, he often uses his own invention to travel through time righting wrongs and making sure events transpire as they were destined to.

Previous attempts at getting Cap'n Wacky on Mt. Rushmore have met with the same tired old "we've run out of carvable rock" excuse, but I don't see why they couldn't just make a giant stone Cap'n's hat on one of the other guys and call that one Cap'n Wacky. Make it happen, voters.