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This week's first Movie I Have No Intention of Seeing:
Catch That Kid

Listen here, TS Eliot, you old dead purveyor of poetic hackity, when the studios force-feed us such pablum as this, even you would agree that April hasn't a damn thing over February.

The next Movie I Have No Intention of Seeing:
50 First Dates

If you added the adjective "horrific" betwixt the first and second words of this title, you would have the perfect description of how EVERY Adam Sandler movie feels to me.

The next Movie I Have No Intention of Seeing:
You Got Served

You got served... a very bad film!

Oh, "You Got Served," YOU got served.

The next Movie I Have No Intention of Seeing:
The Perfect Score

This was not the original title for the film, but the producers decided "Watch Scarlet Johansson Take All The Respect and Goodwill She Earned For Starring In Ghostworld, Lost In Translation, and The Girl With the Pearl Earring And Flush it Right Down the Old Crapper Along With This Steaming Turd of a Film" was a little too long for most marquees.

The next Movie I Have No Intention of Seeing:
Eurotrip

This pile of celluloid dreck is being promoted as "from the producers who brought you Road Trip and Old School." Which is to say "if you enjoyed the work of the people we hired before to actually do the creative work of making a movie, we sure hope you also like the work of the entirely different people we hired to make this one! Or maybe you're a fan of our method of securing financial backing. Who wouldn't be?" Stick to the boob shots, promo-team. That's the way to pack in the mouth breathing drool drippers you're hunting.


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