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The Phantom of the Opera


The director of Batman and Robin teaming up with the composer of Starlight Express? If this combination sounds appealing to you, you might enjoy watching this movie while eating a snack of mud mixed with shards of glass!

Meet the Fockers


Oooh, the last name of these characters sounds ever-so like a terribly naughty word! Re-live the experience of hearing that half-joke 430 times in Meet the Parents many more times in this sequel - now with more Streisand!

Alexander


I'm not really interested in seeing a 3 hour Oliver Stone biopic of sitcom actor/pretzel pitchman/Broadway enthusiast Jason Alexander. And how badly miscast is Colin Ferrel as the title character? Kind of a lot, I think. Though, it could be interesting if they keep in all of the homoerotic subtext from Seinfeld.

Ocean's Twelve


Are you even allowed to make a sequel to the remake of a movie that didn't originally have a sequel? There really ought to be a law.