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Ulikely Little Golden Books: The Walking Dead It's the popular cable zombie gore-fest television series in the form of a long-running childrens' book collection, which obviously seems unlikely. December 9, 2011 |
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Winthrop in "A Visit From Father" Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe's father returns home, and our little gentleman sees an opportunity to exact revenge on an enemy. April 8, 2011 |
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Super-Lent! We asked several of your favorite super-heroes what they're giving up for lent. Also, they answer. March 10, 2011 |
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People's Sexiest Etcetera People Magazine branches out from things other men and just starts deciding what the sexiest everthing alive is. They've gone power mad, I tells ya. Power mad! Check out the sexy results. November 20, 2009 |
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Hope Posters Sure, Barak Obama looks good in his tri-colored campaign poster, but would other public figures and fictional characters look as good in the same style? October 15, 2008 |
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Why I Would Not Enjoy Livig on Big Rock Candy Mountain Jon Morris takes a careful, detailed look at every Hobo's dream of Nirvana and decides it's just not the place for him. sometime, we forget when |
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MUSIC: Confession Erin Murray admits to certain details about her personality you might want to know about before things get too serious. These things are admitted through singing. October 3, 2008 |
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"Winthrop Revirescent" or "Our Little Gentleman's Birthday" Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe celebrates his birthday in this three-part epic tale of growing older, if not better. September 3, 4, and 5, 2008 |
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Dear Dr. Jones The world-famous archeologist gets an unexpected update from an old ally. June 6 2008 |
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MUSIC: Taxidermy (Baby I Love You) A song by Erin Murray about finding a way to make love last forever. Chemically. May 30, 2008 |
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An Interview With The Pac-Man Ghosts The gluttonous yellow pie-man's multi-hued apparations speak about their (after)lives for the first time. October 26, 2007 |
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An Interview With The Sinister Six Spider Man's (almost) deadliest foes sound off. May 4, 2007 |
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In Memoriam: Captain America Two heroes weigh in with tributes to the star-spangeled Avenger. March 23, 2007 |
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Winthrop in: Grandfather's Gift Our little gentleman learns an important life lesson. Kind of. January 19, 2007 |
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Ode To The Chuckles in the Break Room Vending Machine Oh, no! It's poetry! August 18, 2006 |
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Ripped! From the headlines! Harry Potter Hexicon -and- My Hypothesis Regarding The Future Length of Ronald Weasley's Hair (As Portrayed By Rupert Grint) Based On Current Trends November 18, 2005 |
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A few words before the show Yes, you have to sit through the curtain speech before seeing the community theatre production of "Arsenic and Old Lace." September 16, 2005 |
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The Muppet Show: Where are they Now? What's happened to your beloved foam friends? August 2005 |
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The Interview Twenty years later, five people are interviewed about a life-changing experience they had as children. July 2005 |
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Muscleface: The Boxer with the Heart of Gold June McNally had dreams of being a boxer. Every night she'd get beaten to a bloody pulp in boxing nightmares. She figured that if she became a real boxer, maybe she could fight back. June 10, 2005 |
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Sin City Sequel Posters The following posters are our suggestions for sequel storylines, all featuring honest-to-goodness real quotes from the people pictured. April 8, 2005 |
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Ripped! From the Headlines! Upcoming 'American Idol' theme weeks April 1, 2005 |
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Ripped! From the Headlines! Making it on the outside- Martha Stewart's plans March 4, 2005 |
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Ripped! From the Headlines! Hunter S. Thompson, RIP February 25, 2005 |
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Things I Needed to Know that I Did Not Learn in Kindergarten February 11, 2005 |
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Ripped! From the Headlines! This time around-- President George W. Bush's Inauguration Day Schedule January 20, 2005 |
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Ripped! From the Headlines! This time around-- The Plot Against America, an early draft. October 8, 2004 |
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TEAM USA BANJO Eight teenage boys, a homely older woman, a cute little girl, ten banjos... and one destiny. August 9-13, 2004 |
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A Harrowing Tale of The Danger of the Hunt Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe has an adventure. A prissy, prissy adventure. June 25, 2004 |
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Storm safety tips With the weather going crazy lately, this could possibly save your life. By "could possibly," we mean "likely will not." May 28, 2004 |
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Letters of Complaint When a sternly-worded letter to the Times is the only recourse. Except not to the Times, really. April 29, 2004 |
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State of the Anthill Because you were all wondering how things were going down there. March 31, 2004 |
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When you see the newsboy, it's time for Ripped! From the Headlines! Bootlegs for Trade -and- A Letter of Apology August 8, 2003 |
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First Lines of Books That I Have Written -and- Last Lines of Books That I Have Written Every good beginning must have an ending. Or something. July 18, 2003 |
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Classic Films, Reviewed by my Cousin Mark Let's see those snobby bastards at Film Comment beat this! Bring it on, pasty boys! June 13, 2003 |
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Questions Bats are Sick of Being Asked at Parties Man, when bats go to parties, do they ever get the questions! Here are some. May 30, 2003 |
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Viva l'America! Wait- can we still call them the Green Berets? March 14, 2003 |
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I'm ever so cross at my nanny! Meet Winthrop Merriweather Pinfeather-Smythe and learn of the troubles he must endure. December 20, 2002 |
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Sentences Written For the School Vocabulary List By a Student Obsessed with
Tacos But Not Very Good at Vocabulary August 30, 2002 |
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Where Are They Now? Catch up on some of your favorite celebrites' whereabouts. April 19, 2002 |
ALTERNATE REALITY WEEK
My Lives in Alternate Dimensions by Brodie H. Brockie
How My Life is Different in the "Mr. Destiny" Universe by RJ White
March 22, 2002
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My Liner Notes No, I don't have an album coming out, but after you read these, you won't even care (assuming you ever might have). February 8, 2002 |
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If I Were Morrissey for a Day What I would do. October 26, 2001 |
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Nobel Prizes for Kids You probably missed these on the news. October 19, 2001 |
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Geek Quiz If you have to take a quiz, you probably are. October 5, 2001 |
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Quick Comebacks Later Regretted "Oh yeah, uh, maybe you're the stupid head!" And the like. August 15, 2001 |
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R.I.P., Suck We pour out a 40oz for one of our favorite sites. June 15, 2001 |
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The Cap'n's BBQ Tips Before you fire up the grill, get a dose of of our special sauce. May 25, 2001 |
Motown - Ghost Town
People are leaving the Motor City in droves. What to do with all of that empty space?
April 6, 2001
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Upcoming George W. Bush Theme Weeks What will the president be focusing upon in office? We have the inside scoop! February 23, 2001 |
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Death-O-Tron 5B-XR Fill out a survey and our newest computer will tell you the circumstances of your death. Fun for kids! September 29, 2000 |
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Titles of Movies Starring Two Guys Who Are Always Hungry and Raising the Ire of Stuffed Shirts The title sums it up pretty nicely. August 22, 2000 |
A Group of Second Bananas, Observed in the Wild, Exhibit Pack-Like Mentality
When a whole bunch of sidekicks are stranded in the wilderness, who will lead them?
June 9, 2000
You Always Hurt the Ones You Love
I opened your e-mail and got a virus. Will you respect me in the morning?
May 5, 2000
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The Dummies books get even dumber. April 6, 2000 |
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Oscar Predictions
March 24, 2000
Chain of Fools
Get the only chain letter that tells the truth.
February 25, 2000
January 7, 2000
The Perfect Gift
Better than anything you ever wanted.
Christmas, 1999
Your One-Stop Christmas Story
A messier mix than your grandma's fruitcake.
Christmas, 1999
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Like, Amish Despite alleged isolation, Laura learns the lingo. Novemeber 12, 1999 |
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WWJD?
October 29, 1999
On Regurgitation (Physical and Commercial)
Kenny G and vomit. A natural combination.
September 17, 1999
September 10, 1999